April 2010
1 post
5 tags
Kevin: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
me: kevin, you are sleep chatting again
Kevin: huh, wha oh hey there oddly enough, i woke up at 6:14 this morning, when my alarm was set for 6, and my snooze alarm goes off every 7 minutesso i hit snooze twice, and don’t remember it
me: wow I didn’t set my alarm and woke u 5 minutes before I had to go run. damn internal clocks
Kevin: insanity
me: I...
March 2010
6 posts
5 tags
Kevin: what’s up workaholic
me: NOT WORK (ok I lied)
Kevin: ha
me: how is not-work?
Kevin: it’s okay
me: what you been doing?
Kevin: watching movies, reading, playing wow, listening to music
me: god, that sounds fantastic
Kevin: meh
me: don’t you meh at me!
Kevin: i meh specifically at you
me: I ducked. It was all matrix and shit
Kevin: fucking neo
me: ...
5 tags
me: how was listening to your new vinyls?
Kevin: awesome
me: like a hot dog?
Kevin: like two hot dogs
5 tags
me: it feels weird to be tweeting again but in a good way
Kevin: kind of like shaving your butt and wearing silk boxers? NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW WHAT THAT FELT LIKE HOW DARE YOU EVEN SUGGEST IT
4 tags
me: bought a new ipod nano my old one finally fried on me hooked it up to charge, and it was burning hot when I went to pick it up after a few minutes Kevin: oh yikes i need to get a new ipod
me: doesn’t your current one have a big crack in it?
Kevin: no, the backlight is going out you’re thinking about my butt
me: oh, right
4 tags
me: hypocrisy of the day: Christians broadcast scolding Muslims for violence in the Koran. Telling them they need to edit outdated practices.
Kevin: ha burn but what about that genocidal maniac in the bible? oh what’s his name um
me: God
Kevin: yeah that one
me: yeah he was going through a rough time in his life
Kevin: wife left him, drug use, alcohol, laid off from work
me: ...
3 tags
me: does my new “bored at work” make sense?
Kevin: minus the misspelling in the comment or whatever, yes
me: it’s a caption
Kevin: yes, caption i knew it was a c word brain blanked on it
me: brains gone wild
Kevin: no, the opposite brains gone lethargic
me: yeah, but the other one would sell better
Kevin: brains gone “OH LOOK A SQUIRREL”
me: perfect
February 2010
5 posts
3 tags
Kevin: http://www.uncrate.com/men/gear/ipod-iphone/wall-of-sound/
me: yeah I saw that thing, ridiculous, but I would be curious to hear what it sounds like. Kevin: what if you had an entire house of them!!
me: again ridiculous, but then I wouldn’t have to pay for my a vibrating bed or vibrating anything for that matter. my dreams of vibrating cereal would come to fruition!
3 tags
Kevin: ~!@#$%^&*()_+ QWERTYUIOP{}| ASDFGHJKL:” ZXCVBNM<>?
me: yes, but only on weekends
3 tags
Kevin: MORNING SUNSHINE
me: ahhh! you scared me
Kevin: NO I DIDN’T
me: Ahhhh! You did it again stop that
Kevin: SORRY i mean, sorry
3 tags
Kevin: My hard drive is full now i need to switch it to another drive soon, it doesn’t like being that full
me: tell it to unbutton its pants
Kevin: hard drives don’t wear pants, silly or underwear
me: ew
Kevin: they’re fucking sluts
3 tags
me: GET SOME DAMN COFFEE
Kevin: i wish i could no money, though
me: they don’t have free coffee in the teachers lounge?
Kevin: nope
me: wow, that’s bad. Our school only had like 3 students, but they still gave the teachers free coffee and staff
Kevin: there is coffee, but you have to pay for it
me: isn’t working there enough payment?
Kevin: hell no
me: working...
January 2010
17 posts
3 tags
me: nice it pays to cover your ass
Kevin: it pays to uncover your ass too
me: yeah, but only for hookers
Kevin: You mean strippers.
me: there’s a difference?
Kevin: Yes. You are so insensitive.
me: maybe that’s why I keep getting thrown out
Kevin: Could be, could be.
Kevin: Hookers are physical, strippers are visual.
me: damn ok, and what are escorts again?
Kevin: ...
3 tags
Kevin: just caught a kid trying to search for porn
me: nice what did you do?
Kevin: locked his computer and emailed the secretary to get the principal down here
me: when will they learn that this is why god made public libraries?
4 tags
me: sup
Kevin: not much
me: remember when people used that?
Kevin: i still do, sometimes :(
me: why a sad face??? Only cool happy faces get to use “sup”. sup… B) see
Kevin: OK sideways person
me: the movie “Sideways”?
Kevin: no O is the head, K is the arms / body / legs and fuck that stupid movie
me: I SEE IT NOW!!!!!
me: (and fuck you, Paul...
3 tags
Kevin: what is on the up.
me: I can’t bring my laptop to work anymore. that is what is on the up LAME!!!!
Kevin: i heard from justin. and how you guys are locked down more than an elementary school it’s quite hilarious
me: it’s all because these two guys play games all day on it while I am trying to learn programming again, LAME!!!!
Kevin: You guys need new jobs where...
3 tags
me: how’s testing?
Kevin: boring and almost over monitoring make up tests tomorrow and then done
me: good
Kevin: until spring
me: yeah, but that will never come it’s like 2 years away
Kevin: i heard it’s in limbo until we free aslan
me: good, keep that shit locked up plus the ice queen is kinda hot
Kevin: that’s for damn sure
3 tags
me: http://w3schools.com/html/lastpage.htm
Kevin: that must have been lots of illegal things you saw unless you didn’t actually see all the internet
me: you can’t imagine the things I’ve seen! they will haunt my dreams forever!
Kevin: i’m glad we both saw the same image of Bea Aurthur, then (also, that page has been around since 2001)
me: yeah I know never say the...
me: so you want to just chill and listen to music tonigh? Talk about computers and maybe watch some funny stuffs?
Kevin: yes
me: hah, as if we would do anything else i mean what else is there really?
Kevin: nothing, really unless you wanna going halvsies on a hookerbot
me: done
3 tags
Kevin: we have testing tomorrow through the end of the week! hurray!
Kevin: we might not get to hang out this weekend because i will have committed seppuku with a rusty spoon since that is less painful than testing
me: can I have your computers?
Kevin: no i will be buried with them my humble servants
me: well, I have always wanted to be a grave robber
Kevin: i’ll be buried in a...
3 tags
me: sorry I wasn’t able to drop by last night. The ballet didn’t finish until 9:30, and I didn’t drop [girlfriend] off until after 10
Kevin: i was up until 11 or sYOU WENT TO A BALLET !?
me: yeah, I took [girlfriend] to the nutcracker fantasy at the state theater
Kevin: laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame i bet you enjoyed it too
me: It was good [girlfriend] spent most of...
3 tags
Kevin: and your girlfriend ditched me, so we didn’t get a chance to hang out so i made myself steak last night and it was delicious
me: she is missing out then
Kevin: used peanut oil this time, so less smoke and made bread too, and that was also good
me: stop, you are making me hungry
Kevin: mwa ha ha ha my evil plan is working
me: (good thing I have fruit and pizza)
Kevin: ...
4 tags
me: I want to plug the player mp3 in, dump music into a file and that is it
me: it is such a simple idea, and not hard to create there has to be one
Kevin: i think the only ones you’re going to find are cheap foreign-made ones
me: that’s what I want something I can not care about
Kevin: it will give you an std, too
me: I will wear a condom
Kevin: Yeah, but what about the...
Kevin: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prometheus_(tree)
me: sad
Kevin: 5000 years old think about that.
me: i did, and it hurt
3 tags
Kevin: damn, am i always this negative?
but my random yelling things is fucking hilarious.
me: yes and yes
Kevin: damn and FUCK YOU
me: see. circle complete
4 tags
Kevin: i do not agree with your views about exploiting women
me: I know, you exploit them in other ways
Kevin: oh hey now
me: I jest I know you don’t
Kevin: i know you jest, i jest that you don’t jest jest jest jest
me: too much jest….I am getting jest lag!!!!! amiright??
Kevin: no very wrong
me: … how about now?
me: ?????
Kevin: still wrong
me: ...
3 tags
Kevin: pft
me: don’t you pft at me
3 tags
Kevin: bacon is drugs, right? me: to John Candy Kevin: oh burn dead guy burn
3 tags
me: so shopping went well? Kevin: it was successful me: congrats!!! party at kevins! wooo groceries!!!!! Kevin: MY GROCERIES FUCK OFF nom nom nom
December 2009
14 posts
Kevin: D.A.R.E. officer is in my lab running a 5th grade class as much as i like doing illegal things, cops are awesome me: agreed some are pretty bad ass and they try to keep us safe, so kudos for that Kevin: for sure Kevin: oh shit, he’s going through his SWAT bag flash bangs pepper spray gas mask Kevin: kid gets to wear the swat jacket! me: WHAT?!?!?! Kevin: this is awesome me: can i...
3 tags
Kevin: oddly enough, i was never into care bears i didn’t care for them is that irony? me: … no, just dry humor
3 tags
Kevin: You can’t force comedy. If you do, you get jokes like Dane Cook, and it’s what finally did him in at the end of his life. me: prediction? Kevin: Dane Jeffrey Cook (March 18, 1972 - October 18th, 2008) get with the times, man me: why 0ct 18th 2008? Kevin: because that’s the day he died? me: i didn’t know if you were picking a movie release or something (he’s...
4 tags
Kevin: prunes, hahaha me: do you really find prunes that funny? Kevin: Yes. me: you MUST mean it because you used proper capitalization and punctuation. Kevin: also because if you have a cold, and say “prude”, it sounds like “prune” ? me: to add, if you say “hobo” when you have a cold/stuffy nose, it sounds like “homo” Kevin: if you twist...
3 tags
me: do you like grapefruit? Kevin: no me: do you like naked women? Kevin: in general, yes, i like the idea me: do you like naked women holding grapefruits? Kevin: i would enjoy it in an artistic sense, yes me: grapefruits aren’t artistic you fool Kevin: tell that to this grapefruit: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e1/Grapefruit_Splash.jpg me: sheer pornography how dare you...
3 tags
me: too late Kevin: YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS LATE me: sooooooooo i’m pregnant??? wtf? Kevin: no, you’re just not on time me: I really gotta stop ruifi-ing my own drinks Kevin: rufioing gives you red streaks in your hair and makes you hate Peter Pan me: I do not stick an asian kid with red skunk hair in my drinks. me: damn you beat me! Kevin: haha
4 tags
Kevin: internet tells me it’s no longer snowing outside me: it is not just wind blowing Kevin: (i have no windows, so rely on the internet telling me what the weather is outside) me: you can always run aaron.exe (My whole wall is windows) Kevin: -bash: aaron.exe: command not found oh right me: would you like to continue being a nerd? (y/n): Kevin: y me: would you like to buy aaron a new drum...
5 tags
Kevin: does my most recent tweet make any sense at all? because to me, it’s hilarious me: one second me: i get it i think it’s good Kevin: phew that’s the same thing this pineapple told me me: seriously kevin? pineapples don’t speak english and we all know that this chat is built on a window of lies! Kevin: i never said it spoke english that would be crazy me: you...
Kevin: you know, playing mario 2 is not a barrier to you having sex you being a prude is me: what??? Kevin: hahahaha me: i am not a prude Kevin: i’m going to buy you a hooker just to prove you wrong. me: thanks? Kevin: (of course, by hooker, I mean “hamburger”) (and by “hamburger”, I mean “subway sandwich”) (and by “subway sandwich”, I mean...
me: so Lenon and Dimebag Darrell were murdered on the same day. black-tooth grins all around Kevin: indeed. same day, different year which would actually be only like 1/365 chance, which isn’t that bad me: yeah, not really impressive, but there you go (more of an excuse to drink and do LSD in loving memory) me: OH MY GOD MY CHAT BOX TURNED INTO A VAGINA WITH TEETH!!!! Kevin: sorry,...
2 tags
Kevin: you’re easy to shop for mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha me: yup Kevin: it’ll be funny if your girlfirend ends up getting you my #2 idea because it reeks of my idea Kevin: hahaha “#2 idea” THAT’S A POOP JOKE AHKA;DLKFJAS;DLKFASDL;KFJASD me: sigh our humor never falls short of the toilet Kevin: usually falls into the toilet from our butts POOP JOKE me: sigh
2 tags
Kevin: =’( me: oh please you couldn’t cry if you wanted to you have no feelings robots have none! Kevin: hate is a feeling i’m not a robot! Kevin: i’m not a robot! me: (boop beep) what was that then!?!?! Kevin: YOU! YOU ARE A ROBOT me: 011011100110111100100000010010 01001001110110110100100000011011100 11011110111010000100001 I mean, no I’m not!
3 tags
me: kevinachu I choose you!! Kevin: no me: whatever, I threw the poke ball and everything. You HAVE to Kevin: don’t poke my balls, thanks me: lame fine I am choosing Ron Howardasaur. me: He will use his screen-play whip and cause +5 damage each turn but won’t gross more than 5 million box office, that is the only draw back Kevin: dealing with some networking issues, atm me: Pokemon...
2 tags
Kevin: you nerd me: how dare you sir inferring me as a nerd!? Preposterous! Kevin: i dare me: double dare! me: (physical challenge) Kevin: i thought you were trying to argue that you’re NOT a nerd and you go and do something like that
November 2009
13 posts
2 tags
me: oh, so looks like Friday night I would like to borrow your couch. is that still cool? Kevin: sure well, wait depends on what you mean by “borrow” i’d like to keep it in place but if you need to take it elsewhere, we might need to work out the logistics me: damn, you caught me me: I wanted to put it up on the water tower and have a sexy party on it Kevin: you can do neither...
3 tags
Kevin: you know what else makes sense? pancakes me: yeah, but more so than waffles? Kevin: TAKE YOUR RADICAL PRO-WAFFLE AGENDA AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE me: well, I need at least 5 minutes to take down my poster boards and folding table Kevin: NO NOW me: (waffles will rise again, and on that day, you will find yourself wanting) Kevin: NEVER! THE TIME OF THE PANCAKE IS AT HAND me: Quick! to...
2 tags
Kevin: hmm, new idea combo gift for [friend] and [friend’sgirlfriend] something they’d need because they have their own place now. go! me: computing… results: Total elapsed time: 5.34 seconds ideas: 0 gifts: 0 thoughts of boobs: 253,238,305 Kevin: That’s 47,422,903.6 thoughts of boobs / second ToBs/sec
me: yeah, I think I used the wrong computer for this one my...
2 tags
Kevin: man, if we wrote a soap opera, it’d be pretty fucked up me: and popular, in the same way you don’t want to watch a train wreck, but you can’t turn away Kevin: i’m usually cheering the train on GO TRAIN GO SMASH THAT CAR me: who said anything about a car? what about a fruit stand? Kevin: I call a group of people a “car” me: that is correct and a group of...
2 tags
Kevin: i went to lunds yesterday and bought an eel roll especially made for me by a hot asian girl me: even better! you can taste hotness Kevin: like they didn’t have any there, and she saw me looking, and asked if she could make me something so i was like “eel roll?” and she’s all like “Sure thing!” me: and then you were all “Marry me?”, and she was all “Only if I get to make you sushi...
2 tags
Kevin: only time will tell! and google they’ll tell us ALL GLORY TO THE GOOGLE me: wow, cliche? well up until the funny part at the end Kevin: i was leading up to that line me: yeah right, and unicorns aren’t real Kevin: aaron, we need to talk me: nooooooooo Kevin: unicorns actually lost their legs and became marine mammals called narwhals http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narwhal me: I...
2 tags
Kevin: do or do not there is no try and there is only zuul me: Zuul n00b (that was hilarious by the way) Kevin: that’s what i said zuul caps is a communist-fascist-environmentalist plot to destroy lower case letters me: caps is also a really really shitty candy flavored poorly to imitate soda flavors Kevin: caps killed my father and raped my mother and did terrible things pertaining to the...